Blowin' Smoke

My boyfriend, John, and I have an amazing relationship. We have known each other our entire lives and have been best friends for years. Our relationship is exactly how a lot of people want theirs to be--we share secrets, dreams, fears, and inside jokes. On top of our amazing friendship we share a complete infatuation with one another. I've never been in a relationship where I've felt this way (and I dated a guy for two and a half years, so I thought I knew "love"). Being with John is just so perfect... most of the time.

Of course, there is no such thing as a perfect relationship, I know. We always have a good time together, making everyday occurrences adventurous and fun. He is one of my best friends, but I have a problem. 

John used to do a lot of drugs--from smoking weed to popping pills. He stopped all of this before we even began dating, though, so I haven't seen anything of it. He still drinks alcohol, with friends, sometimes on the weekends, and I'm okay with that as long as it doesn't get out of control. Once, though, I made kind of a big deal about his drinking, because he seemed to be doing it so often and he'd told me he wanted to be healthier. So I'd thought, 'isn't that a bit of a contradiction?' I don't really drink, myself (I can actually count on one hand how many times I have), so it's sort of a weird subject to me. 

Anyway, similarly to drinking, John used to smoke weed. We've talked about it and he's told me that he'd quit before we'd started dating. I completely believe him, too. The problem is this: I saw, on a friend's Instagram, that John was tagged in a picture of a hookah pipe. It was a friend of his, who he'd told me he was hanging out with, so that made sense. What bothers me is that I don't know if John was smoking that night. He never smoked cigarettes, only weed. And I understand that hookah is a somewhat healthier alternative in tobacco smoking, but I don't get 1) why he would smoke it and 2) why he wouldn't tell me. He'd said that they'd played a game at his friend's house. What worries me is that he may be doing things and not telling me solely because he knows I disapprove. Sure, I may not like it, but I'd rather him do things I don't like and tell me than do things behind my back. I asked him about it and he acted like he'd had no idea. I want to trust him, but I'm confused. 

So, what do I do? He's not only my boyfriend, but my best friend, and I want us to be completely open. I'd thought we were, but I may be wrong... Help!

The Lowdown

Here it is:

     The 4-1-1.

          The facts. 

               The lowdown. 

I'm nineteen years old, in the prime of my life (as some would say), and living day by day in the Southern California sun. It being summer time and all, you'd think that I'd be out frolicking in the ocean waves rather than laying in my bed on my laptop. You don't know California. It's not all movie stars, valley girls, and surfer dudes, as oftentimes suggested. It's full of normal people--road-raged soccer moms, middle class workers, and adventure-seekers. Granted, I am not a soccer mom or some great-outdoorsman, but I am a Californian nonetheless. I work (above minimum wage by a whole dollar) at the local mall, drive a hand-me-down Ford Expedition, and spend most of  my time texting my boyfriend. Like I said, I'm nineteen years old. 

My story may seem uninteresting at times, but there are actually quite a few things worth talking about. And who better to tell than the rest of the world? That being said, I will start here, as a newbie to Blogger, and spill the splendid, the sad, and the occasionally scandalous details to you--my fateful reader. Wish me luck.